A man was driving down the road in the middle of the night when, naturally, his car broke down. There was no one around, but he saw a light up ahead. He walked towards it and soon figured out that it was a farmhouse.
The man knocked on the door, and a farmer answered. "Sir," he said to the farmer, "my car broke down on the road about a mile away, and I was wondering if I could use your phone."
The farmer told the man that he didn't have a phone, but in the morning, he would drive him into town. He would give him a place to stay during the night, "but you must promise that you won't touch the white ape."
"The white ape?" asked the man. "What's the white ape?"
"Promise you won't touch it!"
"OK, OK, I won't!"
The farmer showed the man to his room, and the man went to bed.
But as the night wore on, the man couldn't get to sleep. He kept wondering, "What in the world is the white ape? And why can't I touch it?"
The man couldn't get back to sleep, so he got up and went down to the kitchen to find some milk or something to help him creep to dreamland.
Upon arriving at the bottom of the stairs, he found that the old farmer was sitting in the kitchen, also apparently not able to sleep.
"Sir," said the man, "I've been tossing and turning all night--I just want to know: What *is* the white ape?"
The farmer sighed and said, "Come on. I'll show him to you. But you *can't* touch him."
The man agreed.
The farmer led him outside, to the backyard. They went through eight cement doors, each one thicker than the last. Finally, they came to a huge room with a gigantic cage sitting in the middle of it. In the cage was a tremendously large white ape, snoring away.
"Ahhhhh ..." said the man. "Now I understand."
The two went inside.
And yet, the man was not satisfied. He lay in bed thinking, "That was the white ape ... but why can't I touch it? Just one, tiny touch can't hurt ... can it?"
So he climbed out of bed, stealthily made his way down the stairs, sneaked out the back door, continued through the gate, and crept to the side of the cage where the ape was sleeping. Slowly, quietly, he reached his hand through the bars and touched the ape ...
Its humongous eyes immediately jerked open. It roared.
Frightened, the man backed up, nearly tripping over himself.
The ape jumped to its feet, shook the cage doors, and broke them easily. Panicked, the man turned around and ran for his life.
The ape came after him, breaking the cement walls as he came. Faster, and faster, he was gaining on the man.
The man spotted the old farmer's truck. He jumped in, spotted the keys on the seat, threw them in the ignition, and revved the engine to life. He peeled out of the driveway as quickly as he could, but the ape didn't relent. It continued after him.
Faster and faster, he pressed on the accellerator, but he couldn't outrun the ape--it was gaining on him. Finally, the man lost control of the truck and ran it into the ditch.
The ape ran up to the car, roared, and ripped the door off the vehicle. It reached inside, slapped the man on the arm and screamed, "TAG!!! YOU IT!!!"
