Useful Retorts and Put-Downs

Thank you. We`re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn`t mean you`re an artist.

I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t care.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

I`m not being rude. You`re just insignificant.

I`m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

It`s a thankless job, but I`ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I`m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

You sound reasonable ... Time to up my medication.

I`ll try being nicer if you`ll try being smarter.

I`m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message ...

I don`t work here. I`m a consultant.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

My toys! My toys! I can`t do this job without my toys!

It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m really quite busy.

At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Someday, we`ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.